Author: Tim Grover

You are at a wedding and find yourself sitting next to your nuisance neighbour. You don’t mind him, but all he does is argue. He has to be right and he has to have the last word. Also, whatever you have done, he has done better.

If you’re left wing, he will argue for the right wing. You enjoy football, he will explain to you why rugby is better. You think breakfast is the most important meal of the day he thinks its dinner. If you have been to New York once, he has been twice.  He is a nice guy, but he will argue about everything and anything. He has to be right!

You find yourself say next to your nuisance neighbour and there is nothing you can do about it. You want to enjoy your meal and evening and under no circumstances do you want to sit and argue.

You can’t escape!

What do you do? You can’t move seats and you don’t want to avoid the meal so you have to sit next to him.  But how can you sit next to someone that argues for argument’s sake about anything you will talk about.

You could try ignoring him, but that just makes him talk louder and be more persistent. You could tell him you don’t want to argue, but he will then argue that you don’t have the nerve to voice your own opinion. You could yell at him and tell him to shut up, but that is angry arguing. You could wait for him to say something that is clearly wrong and then point that out to him, but he never admits to being wrong and has an answer for everything so you will get caught in an argument. What can you do in this scenario? Well, what is the opposite or arguing?

Humour him?

How about you attempt to humour him? You can agree with everything he says, be it true or false.  If his main objective is to argue and you don’t argue what is likely to happen? He will eventually give up trying, or find someone else’s ear to bend. By humouring someone do you give anything up? No.

Do you want an arguing, confrontational relationship with this man or would you prefer a humouring relationship? You would like there to be a third choice – he doesn’t argue but that one doesn’t exist. You only have these two choices and its obvious which one is better.

What to do?

Dealing with this nuisance neighbour is exactly like dealing with worrying thoughts and emotions. If you take the bait, you end up getting embroiled, when you just want to be peaceful. But on the other hand, if you get into the habit of humouring your worrisome thoughts you can increasingly pass over the invitation to argue without becoming involved. You can play with the thoughts rather than work against them. This sounds counterintuitive, right? That’s good because that’s what we have to do. Rather than trying to stop the thoughts, humour them and let them be.

How do we humour thoughts? 

Hear the thoughts, accept them, and then exaggerate them. I helped a lady use this technique and the following week she came back and told me this story. One of her symptoms of anxiety was weak legs. She had found herself feeling claustrophobia in a work meeting. Rather than allowing her thoughts to go wild, she accepted them. She then humoured them.  She knew she was not in danger and that it was a false alarm. She thought how funny it would be if she stood up to find her legs fell off. She then proceeded to fall into the table. Everyone’s half-drunk teas and coffees went everywhere. She then proceeded to hit her head on the table and the first aider placed a huge cartoon style bandaged on her head. They then took her picture which then appeared in the monthly company newsletter!

Take control!

What the lady had done, was chosen her reaction to those thoughts and feelings. She didn’t allow her unconscious reactions lead her. This conscious reaction to exaggerate the issue put her in control of the situation. This meant that the worry couldn’t sneak in and make her worry further.

She mentioned that she did this a few times and when she felt her legs go week she simply didn’t care anymore. What had happened is her relationship with worry changed and it couldn’t bait her anymore because she simply didn’t care.

Troll the troll!

Humouring your own thoughts is basically trolling the troll in yourself. You are the Nuisance Neighbour! Imagine being on twitter and someone says something uncomplimentary about you. Rather than responding, which is what the troll wants. You do the opposite, eventually they give up.

It is very important to make sure that you consciously exaggerating and are not catastrophising. If you make this mistake you will end up worrying more. It’s about making it so unbelievable that it becomes silly and funny.

Let me help you put to bed those worrying thoughts, contact me here

Will Anxiety Last Forever?

The short answer is: it can — if nothing changes.

If you keep reacting the same way to the same triggers, and nothing interrupts the cycle, anxiety can persist for years — even decades. But that doesn’t mean it has to last forever. In fact, many people do recover. The key lies in understanding why anxiety continues and how to break the cycle.

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Sometimes, Anxiety Resolves on Its Own

In some cases, anxiety fades over time without direct intervention. This often happens when anxiety is linked to low confidence or self-consciousness — particularly during adolescence.

For example, blushing is a common anxiety symptom. Many teenagers struggle with it as part of growing up. But as confidence builds and they become more comfortable with themselves, the blushing reduces — and sometimes disappears entirely. No therapy, no medication. Just maturity and internal change.

This kind of anxiety tends to resolve naturally because the cause (self-doubt or insecurity) fades with time and experience.

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But Most Anxiety Doesn’t Work That Way

To understand why anxiety often sticks around, let’s compare it with another emotion: grief.

Grief, while painful, is a releasing emotion. Over time, we slowly let go of the emotional energy. If you imagined grief as 10 gallons of emotional pain, the first few months might pour out a few gallons. Then more over time, until eventually — you feel peace.

With anxiety, however, we don’t release it — we generate it.
Every time a trigger is activated, our brain sends out a danger signal. That signal causes the body to flood with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. We don’t “run out” of anxiety because it’s constantly being produced by our nervous system in response to a perceived threat.

As long as the subconscious believes there is danger, anxiety will continue to be triggered. This is why someone can have a fear of spiders (or flying, or public speaking) for 20 or 30 years — without it weakening.

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The Role of Triggers

Ask yourself:

• What triggers my anxiety?
• How long have these triggers existed?
• Do they still set me off, every time?

If your answer is yes, then you’re not alone. And this is the clearest evidence that anxiety will continue — unless you remove or reprogram those triggers.

Some people are lucky — they can avoid their triggers. If flying causes panic, they just don’t fly. But what if your anxiety is triggered by everyday things — driving, crowds, social situations, or simply leaving the house? Avoidance won’t work forever.

To truly move beyond anxiety, you need to change your relationship with your triggers.

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Reprogramming the Mind

Anxiety doesn’t have to last forever. But it won’t disappear by wishing it away or ignoring it. It requires changing how your mind and nervous system respond.

There are many therapeutic techniques that help, but the two I’ve found most effective are:

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1. BWRT® (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy)

BWRT is a cutting-edge, fast-acting therapy that helps the brain respond differently to emotional triggers. It works by interrupting the old fear response and replacing it with a calm, neutral reaction — all without needing to relive painful memories.

Because BWRT uses recursive mental looping, it helps rewire the brain at the source. It doesn’t just “cope” with anxiety — it deactivates the original emotional charge.

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2. Hypnoanalysis

Hypnoanalysis involves entering a relaxed, hypnotic state and regressing to the root cause of the anxiety. Often, the brain is holding on to outdated beliefs or emotional patterns formed in childhood. Once these are uncovered, the subconscious mind can release them — recognizing that they no longer apply.

Rather than managing anxiety, hypnoanalysis helps resolve it by addressing the emotional blueprint it’s built on.

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Conclusion: Anxiety Doesn’t Have to Last Forever

Yes, anxiety can last forever if the triggers remain in place. But it doesn’t have to. Whether through time, personal growth, or targeted intervention like BWRT or hypnoanalysis, change is possible.

And the good news is: programs can be rewritten.

If your anxiety has been following you for years, that’s not a sign it’s permanent — it’s a sign your brain is still running the same program.

Learn more about BWRT here

Learn more about Hypnoanalysis here

Contact me here

I’ve long been interested in spiritual growth. Teachers like David Hawkins, Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, and Sadhguru have shaped how I view the mind, emotion, and our connection to awareness. One truth they all express in different ways is this:

Anxiety cannot exist in the Now.

Why? Because when you are fully present in the moment, you often find that right now, everything is actually okay.

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Life Is Good in the Moment

The more we practice being present, the less anxiety we experience. That’s because anxiety lives in the future — in the imagination — not in the moment.

When you strip away the “what ifs,” the majority of our current moments are manageable or even peaceful. Very rarely are we in actual danger right now.

Think back to a day when anxiety took hold.
How much of that time was spent worrying about something that never happened?

Often, clients will say: “Nothing bad actually happened. I just spent the whole day anticipating disaster.”

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Anxiety Is a Conflict With Reality

Anxiety stems from a conflict in the psyche — a resistance to what is. You’re trying to control something that cannot be controlled: the future.

But the present is always available.

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Awareness: The Antidote to Anxiety

Let’s make this real. Try this:

• Feel your body touching the chair.
• Notice how your clothes rest on your skin.
• Feel the temperature in the room.
• Notice your breath.

This is awareness.
It requires no thought.
It is not judgmental.
It simply is.

If you feel an itch, your conscious mind may want to scratch it. But awareness just notices. It observes without resistance.

This shift from thought to awareness opens up a space — a space in which anxiety begins to dissolve.

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A Practical Example: Driving Anxiety

Let’s say you have to drive later today. You’re sitting on the sofa and your mind starts racing:

What if I panic? What if I can’t handle it? What if I get stuck?

You now have a choice:

1. Let your mind dwell in the imagined future, creating hours of unnecessary anxiety.
2. Return to the present — experience sitting on the sofa, watching the moment unfold.

Ask yourself: “Do I have a problem right now?”

The answer is almost always no.

This is how we reclaim the Now — by refusing to leave it for the illusion of control over what’s next.

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But What If the Present Moment Feels Bad?

Sometimes the Now is uncomfortable — you might feel anxious, upset, or even panicked. Can we stay with that, too?

The answer isn’t to change how you feel — that only increases resistance.

Instead, ask:

“Can I accept what I’m feeling right now?”

If your answer is, “No, I hate how I feel,” then try this:

“Can I accept that I can’t accept it right now?”

Paradoxically, even this small shift creates space. It allows light into the darkness and begins to break the cycle of resistance.

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The Universe, the Moment, and Acceptance

Every moment is here because the universe unfolded that way. We don’t control the Now. We only control how we respond to it.

If you’re anxious about a person, a situation, or a feeling, remember:

You’re not reacting to the situation. You’re reacting to your thoughts about it.

That insight gives you power. You can choose to accept, or you can choose to change. But what you must not do is complain.

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The Three Choices We Always Have

1. Complain – This is mental resistance. It adds negativity without changing anything. Most complaints are internal, making them even more pointless. They simply keep the suffering alive.
2. Accept – Acceptance means allowing the moment to be as it is. It may take courage, especially when the moment is painful, but it’s often the most powerful route forward.
3. Change – If you cannot accept something, consider whether you can change it. But do so mindfully, not from a place of resistance.

Example:
I had a friend who was deeply depressed. I tried to support him, but he began projecting his pain into my life. I didn’t want to cut him off, but I needed boundaries.
So I stopped letting him come to my house unannounced and limited the time I spent with him. That shift allowed me to maintain the friendship and protect my own energy.

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Conclusion

Complain less.
Accept more.
Change what you must.

The next time anxiety rises, stop and ask:
“Am I in the present moment?”

If you’re caught in thoughts of the future, gently bring yourself back. If you’re struggling with the moment itself, ask if you can accept it — or at least accept your current inability to do so.

Either way, you are stepping out of resistance and into awareness — where anxiety can’t survive for long.e, observe them and allow time for them to float away.

Contact me here to learn more

Understanding the Nervous System: The See-Saw of Anxiety

When working with anxiety, it’s crucial to understand what’s actually going on inside the body. A lot of fear and confusion comes from not knowing why we feel what we feel — and this understanding alone can bring immense relief.

Let’s start with the basics.

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Two Main Parts of the Nervous System

Our nervous system is made up of two key branches:

1. The Voluntary Nervous System
   This is the part we control. It directs movement of the limbs, head, and trunk — basically, how we move and act physically. It’s made up of the brain and spinal cord, with nerves branching off to muscles throughout the body.
2. The Involuntary Nervous System
   This part controls everything that happens inside us automatically — like our heartbeat, digestion, breathing, blood flow, even sweat and saliva. It responds to our mood and emotions, and we cannot directly control it. This is the system most affected by anxiety.

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The Involuntary Nervous System: Sympathetic vs Parasympathetic

The involuntary nervous system itself has two components:

• Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) – The “fight or flight” system.
• Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) – The “rest and digest” system.

Here’s how they work:

• The sympathetic side gears us up to face danger. It’s highly sensitive and designed to protect us — especially back when our dangers were life-threatening (like escaping wild animals).
• The parasympathetic side helps us rest, recover, and feel calm. It holds the sympathetic system in check, maintaining a peaceful balance in the body.

But when you’re anxious, the sympathetic system gets triggered too easily, and the balance is lost. You sweat, your heart races, you might feel dizzy, nauseous, or shaky — all automatic reactions caused by a surge of adrenaline.

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We Don’t Usually Feel Our Body Working… Until Balance Breaks

When your nervous system is balanced, you actually feel very little. Your body just works, and that peaceful “nothingness” is a beautiful thing.

But when you’re emotionally overwhelmed — afraid, angry, excited — the sympathetic system overwhelms the parasympathetic, and you suddenly become very aware of your bodily sensations.

You don’t feel these things because something is wrong.
You feel them because your body is out of balance.

And that balance is the key to managing anxiety.

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The See-Saw Effect

Think of your nervous system like a see-saw:

• When both systems are balanced, you feel calm and stable.
• When the sympathetic side rises (due to fear, anger, panic), anxiety symptoms appear.
• When the parasympathetic side rises (due to love, safety, contentment), you feel peace, joy, and relaxation.

The problem is that the sympathetic system is much more dominant — for good reason. It’s designed to keep us alive. A strong reaction to danger is more important than a mild reaction to something nice.

This means that anxiety-prone individuals — especially those with GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) or free-floating anxiety — often experience a system that is overly sensitive and slow to return to balance.

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What Can You Do?

The goal is to rebalance the see-saw — not to suppress or ignore the feelings, but to help the nervous system find its equilibrium again.

This can be achieved in a few ways:

• BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy) – To stop the automatic triggers from overwhelming the system.
• Hypnoanalysis – To uncover and resolve the root emotional causes that keep the system stuck in overdrive.
• Floating – A powerful tool taught by Claire Weekes that helps you stop fighting sensations and allow your system to reset naturally. [Learn more about floating here.]

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A New Perspective on Anxiety

So the next time you feel the physical symptoms of anxiety, remember this:

Nothing terrible is happening inside you. You are simply out of balance.

And like any imbalance, it can pass — if you allow it.

Don’t try to fix every sensation. Don’t panic about the panic. Instead:

• Accept what you’re feeling
• Float through the discomfort
• Give your body time to return to balance

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Practice the See-Saw Awareness

Over the next few days, try to notice your nervous system in action:

• When you’re laughing or feeling love, that’s the parasympathetic side at work.
• When you’re feeling anxious, tense, or irritable, that’s the sympathetic side flaring up.

Every emotion has a chemical footprint — and every footprint affects your nervous system. Knowing this puts you back in the driver’s seat, even when the journey feels bumpy.

The Dreaded Morning Feeling

For many people living with anxiety, mornings can be the hardest part of the day.

You may go to bed feeling hopeful, even proud of how well the day went — only to wake up feeling like you’re right back at square one. Or worse, you go to bed feeling nervous, and wake up with that same nervousness still hanging over you.

This morning feeling can be deflating, confusing, and difficult to shake — but with understanding and strategy, you can manage it.

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Get Up and Get Moving

When anxiety hits first thing in the morning, our natural reaction is often to stay in bed, hoping the feeling will pass. But staying in bed usually makes it worse.

You lie there, steeped in worry and overthinking. Your tired body feels heavier. Your thoughts grow louder. The longer you stay there, the harder it becomes to move — both physically and mentally.

The key here is:

Get up as soon as you wake up.

Yes, even if you still feel anxious.
Yes, even if your body feels like it weighs a ton.

Why? Because movement breaks the cycle. When you rise and begin a simple morning routine — shower, tea, breakfast, a bit of TV, walking the dog — you’re not allowing anxiety to dictate your morning. You are leading, not reacting.

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Your Body Will Catch Up

People with anxiety often feel fatigued — and let’s be honest, everyone feels tired when they first wake up.

But here’s the truth:

Your body doesn’t “get going” before you get up.
It gets going because you get up.

So if you’re waiting for your body to feel ready, you may be waiting until noon — and by then, guilt and frustration have joined the party.

You might be tempted to hit the snooze button, and that’s okay in the short term. But if you keep rising soon after waking, it becomes a habit — just like any other.

I once had to leave home at 6:30 AM to commute to London. At first, I thought, “There’s a 6:30 in the morning?” But after a week or so, I even found myself waking up at that time on weekends. Our brains and bodies are incredibly adaptive — if we give them the chance.

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The Science Behind the Struggle

Did you know that cortisol, your body’s primary stress hormone, peaks in the morning?

That early surge of cortisol can make anxiety feel stronger right when you wake up — which is why lying in bed can feel like a mental minefield. Your thoughts go into overdrive. You check in with how your body feels. You question how you’ll make it through the day.

But your metabolism and mood won’t “kick in” while you’re still in bed. You have to start moving for things to shift.

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The Trap of Expectation

A common issue with morning anxiety is the expectation we place on it.

We go to bed hoping, “Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and feel normal. Maybe that’ll be the day I’m finally cured.”

But anxiety doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t vanish overnight — it fades gradually, often without us even noticing. One day, you’ll realise you’ve gone a whole morning without checking in on how anxious you feel — and that will be the moment you’ve made more progress than you thought.

Until then, remind yourself:

Waking up with anxiety doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re still recovering, and recovery is allowed to be gradual.

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What to Remember Each Morning

• Don’t lie and worry. Get up and move before anxiety settles in.
• Avoid scanning your body or overanalyzing how you feel. It only feeds the fear.
• Have a simple routine ready. Structure and familiarity can calm the mind.
• Know that mornings often feel worse — but they don’t define the rest of the day.
• Let go of the need for “proof” of recovery. Just like growing your hair, the change is happening, even if you can’t see it yet.

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A Final Thought

If you wake up tomorrow and anxiety is still there, that’s okay. You’re still moving forward. You’re still healing. You’re still doing the work.

Accept where you are. Float through it. And let time do the rest.

loating – A Gentle Approach to Overcoming Anxiety

Many years ago, I learned about a technique called “floating”, developed by the pioneering Dr. Claire Weekes. Claire was a trailblazer in anxiety therapy, writing extensively on the subject throughout the 1960s and 70s — decades before mental health became widely understood or accepted. Her approach was revolutionary for the time, and her teachings remain just as relevant today.

One of her core messages was simple, yet powerful:
We must learn to float, not fight.

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Why Do We Fight?

When faced with something we fear or resist — a crowded place, a social event, even getting out of bed — our natural instinct is to tense up and push back. We try to force our way through, believing that if we just try hard enough, we can overcome it. But in reality, this tension often fuels the anxiety further.

For example, a woman I know struggled to walk into a busy shop. Each time she tried, she tensed up. The more she resisted, the more anxiety built up, and the more she avoided the situation. Her instinct said, “Don’t go in,” and so every attempt became a battle.

But what if instead of forcing, she tried floating?

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What Does It Mean to Float?

Floating isn’t about avoidance. It’s about letting go of the fight.
It’s a way of saying to your nervous system: “I’m not pushing against this. I’m just going to let it be.”

When we fight anxiety, we get tense. That tension causes our body to release more adrenaline, making us feel worse. Then we react to those new sensations — and the cycle continues.

Floating interrupts that loop.

Try this simple mental shift:
Instead of getting out of bed, imagine yourself floating out of bed.
Instead of forcing yourself into the shop, imagine gently floating through the entrance.

It may sound odd, but this shift in imagery redirects the mind away from resistance and toward acceptance. And with that, the body often follows.

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Floating Is Not Passive — It’s Empowering

Many people with anxiety have a strong desire to be in control, though they often don’t recognise this. They feel out of control, overwhelmed by symptoms and thoughts — but beneath that is often an urge to manage or “fix” everything.

Floating asks you to release that grip — not to give up, but to give in.
To let go of the battle that, ironically, might be keeping you stuck.

Here’s the twist:
When you float, it may feel like you’re letting go of control — but you’re actually regaining it.
You’re choosing to stop resisting. That’s a conscious, empowered decision.

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You Don’t Have to Force Relaxation

Trying hard to relax is like trying hard to fall asleep — it doesn’t work.

Instead of striving, simply wait.
Let the calm come in its own time. The relief comes not from beating anxiety, but from stopping the struggle. Once you stop fighting, your body can begin to settle itself. The sensations may still be there — but they stop being the enemy.

And as Claire Weekes taught, the battle you think you’re fighting is often one of your own making.

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Float Past It All

• Float past tension and fear
• Float past intrusive thoughts and unwelcome suggestions
• Float past the adrenaline surge, the panic, the noise

Let it come. Let it pass. And float right through it.
No resistance. No battle. Just time, and patience, and trust in yourself.

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The Takeaway

Float — don’t fight.
Accept — and let time pass.

This simple yet profound advice remains one of the most powerful tools we have in overcoming anxiety. Claire Weekes’ legacy lives on in those who choose gentleness over struggle, and who find strength not in resistance, but in surrender.

Fear of Flying: It’s Not Always What You Think

Experiencing anxiety when flying is incredibly common — about 1 in 6 people feel it. But here’s what might surprise you: it’s not always due to a fear of crashing.

In fact, people with flying anxiety often fall into one (or both) of these categories:

1. Scared of a plane crash
2. Worried about a trigger being activated

When you ask someone how they’d feel during a plane crash, the reaction is universally horrified. But that doesn’t mean this is the actual reason they avoid flying.

Common but Overlooked Causes of Flight Anxiety

Here are some of the lesser-known triggers that contribute to flight anxiety:

• Social Anxiety – Airports and planes are crowded. You’re in close proximity to strangers, with little personal space.
• Claustrophobia – You’re in a tight, enclosed space with no ability to leave.
• Fear of public toilets – Whether due to hygiene or fear of queues, this can be very distressing.
• Loss of control – A panic attack mid-flight can lead to fear of recurrence.
• Fear of embarrassment – Crying, shouting, or trying to exit the plane mid-flight are common intrusive thoughts.
• Fear of crashing – Yes, this is still common, but it’s often not the only issue.
• Separation anxiety – Being far from loved ones or from a place of safety can be triggering.
• Lack of control – You’re not the one flying the plane — the pilot is.

It’s Not Always Obvious

This is why telling someone “Flying is the safest form of transport” doesn’t help — because crashing isn’t the trigger they’re trying to avoid. So statistics, no matter how reassuring, often fall on deaf ears.

Some of the above triggers exist with other forms of transport too, but flying is uniquely restrictive:

• You can’t easily move around like on a train or bus.
• The time between stops is longer.
• You can’t just get off when you’re overwhelmed.

Some people can’t even identify the exact cause — they just know they aren’t getting on that plane. That’s when a skilled therapist comes in to help uncover the true trigger and resolve it.

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And What About Those Who Are Scared of Crashing?

This group is more direct. We know the trigger — it’s the crash scenario. Treatment can go one of two ways:

• BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy) – Often resolves this fear in just 1–2 sessions.
• Education – Sometimes, simply explaining how planes work is enough to bring relief.

Example:
A woman I worked with was terrified someone would open the door mid-flight. She stayed hypervigilant every time someone walked past her. Once she learned that opening a plane door mid-flight is physically impossible due to cabin pressure, her anxiety eased.

But here’s the challenge:
Even when educated, many people still ask the ultimate anxiety question…

“What if?”

• What if the engine fails?
• What if two engines fail?
• What if all of them fail?
• What if we can’t reach an airport?
• What if…

The “What if” cycle is infinite. It’s the anxious brain’s way of avoiding uncertainty. Unfortunately, when someone is stuck in this mindset, no amount of logic, data, or reassurance helps. It’s not a conversation you can win with facts — because the brain demands a 100% guarantee of safety. The only time they get that is after the plane has safely landed.

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Is it a Fear or a Phobia?

This matters — because the treatment approach can change based on the answer.

Here’s how to tell:

Ask:
“How much money would I have to pay you to fly?”

• If they give a number (any number), it’s likely a fear — unpleasant but potentially manageable.
• If they say, “No amount of money would get me on that plane,” you’re likely dealing with a phobia — which may require deeper, more focused treatment.

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So What Works?

• BWRT is highly effective for both fears and phobias, often providing rapid results.
• Hypnotherapy and suggestion therapy can also help — but with a caveat. Their results may vary, and some people experience a return of symptoms (known as recidivism).

Example:
One person flew successfully after hypnotherapy… but couldn’t bring themselves to fly back because the effects had worn off.

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Final Thought

Fear of flying is more nuanced than many people realise. Crashing is just one piece of the puzzle — often, it’s not even the main one. Identifying the real trigger, whether it’s loss of control, claustrophobia, or the dreaded “what if,” is the key to choosing the right treatment.

Once that’s clear, the path to helping someone fly with confidence becomes much easier.

BWRT – excellent results usually in one or two sessions depending on original trigger.

Hypnoanalysis – a longer therapy to undertake and it really needs to be a phobia and not a strong fear to be effective.

Contact me here to overcome your fear of flying today.

Is Anxiety Exhausting?

Why You Feel Tired When You’re Anxious

In this week’s blog, I want to explain one of the most overlooked yet common symptoms of anxiety: tiredness. Many people don’t immediately associate anxiety with feeling exhausted—but once asked, almost every client I work with says the same thing:
“Yes! I’m constantly tired.”

So, why does anxiety leave us feeling so drained?

Let’s break it down.

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The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response

To understand anxiety-induced exhaustion, we need to revisit our built-in survival instinct, often referred to as the fight, flight, or freeze response.

The human mind has an internal alarm system that gets triggered when it believes you’re in danger.
That word—believes—is crucial. You don’t have to actually be in danger. Your mind just has to perceive it.

Take this example:
You’re stuck in a cable car. You’re not technically in danger—you’re just in an uncomfortable situation. But if you suffer from claustrophobia, your brain interprets this as a threat, and the alarm goes off.

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Real Danger vs. Perceived Danger

When your mind believes you’re under threat, it doesn’t matter if the threat is real or imagined. The same physiological response is triggered either way. You might experience a racing heart, shallow breathing, sweating, or shaking—all signs your brain is trying to alert you to “danger.”

Much like how we feel pain when injured (to bring our attention to the wound), anxiety symptoms are designed to force us to act. They’re attention-grabbers, whether we want them or not.

Unfortunately, these responses are often triggered by outdated beliefs—usually subconscious rules we picked up in childhood.

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The Inner Conflict

Almost everyone who suffers from anxiety knows the feeling of wanting to do something—but feeling held back.

This is the result of a conflict between the conscious and subconscious mind:

• Your conscious mind wants to act.
• Your subconscious mind, based on an old (and often incorrect) rule, believes it’s unsafe.

That inner conflict is what triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response.

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Our Ancestral Brain

To fully understand this, we need to go back—way back—to our caveman ancestors.

Back then, we hadn’t yet developed the neomammalian brain, which gives us conscious thought. We operated purely on instinct—something was either dangerous or it wasn’t. No reasoning. Just reaction. And it kept us alive.

As humans evolved and developed conscious awareness, we gained the ability to reason with our emotions. But there was a flaw…

The subconscious mind doesn’t listen to logic.

Once a rule is set in the subconscious (also known as the reptilian brain or hind brain), it views that rule as essential for survival—even if it no longer makes sense in your adult life.

So even if you know something is safe, if your subconscious says it’s dangerous, it will override your logic and activate the emergency system anyway.

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The Cost of Constant Survival Mode

This internal alarm system is meant to be used occasionally—in real emergencies. That’s why it’s so energy-intensive. Let’s look at each response:

• Fight: Your body redirects blood to large muscle groups for strength. Systems like digestion shut down.
• Flight: Same energy shift, but focused on escape.
• Freeze: Your body stays perfectly still, conserving energy to remain unnoticed.

These states were designed for rare life-or-death moments. They’re not meant to be triggered daily, let alone multiple times a day.

But for anxiety sufferers, this alarm is going off constantly.

Imagine revving a car engine at full speed all day. Of course, you’d burn fuel fast.
It’s the same with anxiety. The constant release of stress hormones and energy expenditure is what leaves you feeling physically and mentally exhausted.

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A Flawed Evolution

Back in the wild, this emergency system helped us survive.
Now, it’s often misused for things we believe are life-threatening—like public speaking, making a phone call, or being in a crowded room.

These things aren’t dangerous.
But if your subconscious thinks they are? Your body reacts as though your life is on the line.

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So… Is Anxiety Exhausting?

Yes. Absolutely.

You’re not imagining it.
You’re not being lazy.
Your body is simply burning through emergency-level energy for situations that don’t actually require it.

And this isn’t your fault. These responses aren’t triggered consciously—but the good news is, they can be retrained.

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How BWRT Can Help

One of the tools I use in my practice is BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy).

BWRT works by intercepting the subconscious response before it reaches your body. It allows the brain to still recognize the trigger—but instead of firing off fear or panic, we replace it with a calm, preferred response.

• No alarm.
• No fight or flight.
• No unnecessary energy drain.

That means more calm, more control—and yes, more energy 😊

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Final Thoughts

If you’ve been feeling tired for what seems like no reason, anxiety could be quietly draining you behind the scenes.

You’re not imagining it—and you’re not alone.

If you’d like to explore how BWRT or other therapies could help reset your triggers and restore your energy, I’d love to help.

Get your energy back today! contact me here

Understand how BWRT can promote Rapid Positive Change here

Anxiety vs Panic: One and the Same, or Completely Different?

My Personal Perspective

Many years ago, I experienced panic attacks—and for a long time, I thought of them as the same thing as anxiety, just at different levels of intensity.

For me, it was pretty straightforward:
If I rated the sensations I was feeling on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the most distressing), I considered anything between 1 and 7 as anxiety. When things tipped into 8, 9, or 10, I saw it as a panic attack.

In other words, my experience of anxiety and panic felt like a continuum—the same symptoms, just more intense when it reached panic.

But that was based on my own experience. For others, whose symptoms may differ significantly between anxiety and panic, the two can feel like completely separate experiences.

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The Key Difference: Intensity & Duration

The most accurate way to define the difference is this:

Anxiety and panic are best distinguished by the intensity of the symptoms and the length of time they last.

• Anxiety is usually milder in intensity, but it can linger for a long time—hours, days, even weeks.
• Panic attacks are short-lived but incredibly intense. They typically last between 10 and 45 minutes, and they can leave you completely exhausted afterward.

This time difference is no coincidence—it’s largely due to energy. The body simply can’t sustain panic-mode for long periods, whereas anxiety can simmer beneath the surface almost indefinitely.

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What Is a Panic Attack?

A panic attack is your body’s highest threat-level alarm, triggered when it (mistakenly) believes something is seriously wrong. If there were actual danger—like being chased by a bear—your mind would be focused on the threat itself. But when no real threat is present, your brain zeroes in on what’s happening in your body.

And you don’t like it.
It feels terrifying.
That’s exactly the point.

Your body is demanding attention.

Common Panic Attack Symptoms:

• Heart palpitations
• Excessive sweating
• Trembling or shaking
• Shortness of breath
• Chest pain
• Nausea
• Dizziness or light-headedness
• Feeling of losing control or “going crazy”
• Fear of dying
• Chills or hot flushes

If these symptoms sound familiar, and you’ve experienced them during episodes of anxiety, it’s easy to see why many people think anxiety and panic are the same thing.

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But What If Your Anxiety Feels Totally Different?

Here’s where the conversation gets interesting.

Let’s say your experience of anxiety is mostly:

• Constant worrying
• Irritability
• Sleep disturbances
• Restlessness
• Difficulty concentrating

In that case, a panic attack—with its sudden, overwhelming physical sensations—might feel like a completely different beast. It doesn’t feel like anxiety at all. And from your perspective, they are two distinct experiences.

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So Which Is It?

That’s the million-dollar question. Are anxiety and panic the same thing, or are they different?

Well, it depends.

For me, they felt the same—just varying in intensity.
For someone else, they might feel completely different.
And both perspectives are valid.

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My Conclusion

It’s whatever it feels like to you.

• If anxiety and panic feel like two points on the same scale to you—that’s okay.
• If they feel like totally separate experiences—that’s also okay.

Your body and mind will give you your truth, and that’s the only truth that matters.

The important thing is to stop trying to argue the difference with others. Their experience may be completely different from yours—and that doesn’t make them wrong.

Learn more about panic attacks here

Understand how BWRT can promote Rapid Positive Change here

This blog will hopefully be helpful for both the sufferer and the non-suffering person to understand why don’t others understand anxiety?. Many years ago I stayed in an Airbnb. It was my first time staying in someone else’s house and I was keen to get on with the host. The lady I met asked why I was in the area and I mentioned that I was currently studying and undertaking a training course for BWRT. As soon as she found out I was a therapist I was whisked into the dining room and sat round the table talking ‘anxiety’. It turned out her teenage daughter suffered terribly and the mum was at a complete loss why.

The mum and daughter

She mentioned her daughter had everything she wanted; she lived in a nice house, big bedroom, all the luxuries she could want but was anxious. The mum was at her wits end as she wanted to help her daughter but simply had no idea why she was like she was, when from the outside, everything seemed perfect to her daughter.

The mum She was extremely outgoing and confident but I asked her what made her anxious. She replied ‘nothing’. So I asked her again, she again said ‘I can’t really think of anything’. I then insisted she told me something that made her anxious as we all have something and she mentioned ‘being in America and visiting the tops of high buildings – heights!’

I asked her how her daughter was when they were at the top of those building. She mentioned she was fine with heights. For the mum though, she had an anxiety that she believed was logical, so she had a reasoning for her feelings whilst at the top of the buildings. I’m up high, this is dangerous it is fine to feel like I do.

Logical or Illogical?

I went on to explain that the mum’s response wasn’t logical though, unless she was leaning dangerously out the window or the building was frail and could fall down, she had no reason to feel anxious. But the key here is she did. And those feelings were a response to her own psyche at that moment in time. Her feelings are her own and they will be triggered by any number of situations or thoughts, in this case her fear of heights triggered her anxiety.

Incorrect and out of date belief systems

As we grow through childhood we actively create rule after rule to keep ourselves safe. At some point in the mum’s life she picked up the rule that heights were to be avoided and her anxiety symptoms were a mechanism to keep her safe by trying to persuade her from going near them. Unfortunately some of these rules we live by are incorrect and can be extremely illogical which creates further anxiety; because we created them as a child we had no ability to challenge them if they were incorrect – as we simply didn’t know better at the time. But they are rules we live by to keep ourselves safe even if they are wrong! We end up with a conflict between our conscious and subconscious. The former wants to do something that it knows is safe but it’s overridden by the subconscious that has a rule against it saying it’s dangerous. Which can be seen here, the sightseeing mum consciously wants to go and see the great view from the top of the building, but her subconscious working from an out of date incorrect rule telling her to not go up.

When it believes something is dangerous it expels a variety of symptoms to keep you away from it. Heart racing, blushing, shakes, trembling, sweats, jelly legs etc.… Add you own to this list. At this point, hopefully it makes sense that everyone of us has a different set of rules that we created as we grew up.

Lack of empathy or a misunderstanding?

I remember many years ago I was attending a fear of spider’s event. Everyone in the room had a fear of spiders. When people were telling stories between themselves there was an extremely high amount of empathy flowing around the room, lots of ‘I know exactly how you feel’. In this instance, the people in this room all suffering arachnophobia could understand their fellow acquaintances. They had the same built in rule in their psyche and could easily relate.

But. If I had started to talk about flying it would have changed very quickly. Maybe out of the 20 or so people only a handful would be fearful of flying. At this point the empathy would start to fall and conversations like ‘I love flying its safe, I can’t understand why you would be scared, safest form of travel’. Someone who just a moment ago was so understanding about your spider phobia is now completed bewildered that you could fear flying!

The stubborn psyche

Herein lies the issue. It is very hard for your psyche to understand something that doesn’t exist within it.  When you search your own mind and get a match you have a frame of reference – as above the people in with the spider phobia, whereas when someone hears about someone with a fear of flying and this is absent in their own mind, they fail to understand how you could possibly be scared of it.

Often it appears as a complete lack of sensitivity but the actual reality is that people don’t often possess the ability to sympathise in a way until the situation has been explained to them. The lady at the start of this post started to make sense of her daughter’s predicament once she used her feelings of anxiety at the top of the building and realised that is how she felt at that moment. And her daughter feels her own feelings in her moments.

This isn’t about a right or wrong. It’s understanding that everyone feels different things towards different things. Be that, positive or negative, we all get triggered. Understanding we all have different triggers that then trigger different emotional response allows us the ability to be compassionate and non-judgemental towards someone.

Your truth, their truth, both valid!

If someone feels the way they do, regardless of how illogical it may seem to you it is still true for that person. We live in a country where spiders don’t kill us. Yet around 1 in 5 people are scared of them. Illogical yes, but a truth nonetheless.

Whenever I am faced with trying to get someone to understand anxiety I ask for a fear they hold themselves, explain to them how it’s illogical but it belongs to them and it is their truth. This usually opens up their psyche enough to see how we are all affected in different ways to our own rule set.

However incorrect our rules may be!

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